Breaking the Ice with 3-4 yr olds

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Permalink Reply by Melody Shuman on January 27, 2010 at 11:33am

Hello Santanu,

I do have few quick ice breakers that I'll address at the end of this discussion, but let's first address the main issue in your question. The main reason why we do pre-evaluations is to identify children's strengths and areas of improvement. In my personal experience, approximately 6 out of 10 3 and 4 year olds will be shy the very first time they walk into class.

This is not a bad thing:

1) It let's us know up front that they have a social and possibly and emotional barrier that we can help them over come.

2) It shows the parent that we've identified and area where we can help their child through our Martial Arts classes.

When a child is shy the first time they come in, the next step is to invite them to watch a class. Once they see other kids their age laughing and having a good time, most of them drop that social barrier that they had up the first time they met you. They now feel safe.

You may be thinking: "then should I have ALL of my 3 and 4 year old leads watch class first to avoid this?" The best answer is no. I want to know who is shy initially and I want their parent's to see them overcome their shyness. It's not a waste of time for me to have a shy 3 or 4 year old come in only to have them come back to watch class. (I signed up a student last week with this same issue!)

In my experience, approximately 8 out of 10 kids that were shy on the first day will get on the mat after they see other children their age having fun. This means that they only had a small social barrier.

I tend to act quickly and pre-evaluate them right after they watch a class, while a STORM team member begins the next class. I do more of a crash course which takes only 5-minutes in this siutation, but still establishes a lot of value. If I cannot pre-evaluate them, I schedule them for another time. Either way, the parent sees us as professionals for going the extra mile in our process.

As for the ones that are still shy, this means they probably have some emotional barriers which are hard to overcome because young children are not yet in control of their emotions. So, we have them come back after 6 months. You shouldn't try and force them too much because you can drain your energy and still get no where. (Too many times in the past I can recall wasting valuable time and energy on the "new, shy kid" - which is not good for the rest of the class)

-or-

You can stick them in a class while they are still shy and hope they open up, but that is a risky option because children tend to mock other children and you don't want another child to "become" shy because they are mocking the new kids that happens to be shy.

Going back to ice breakers:
1. Ask them what their favorite color is. Tell them your favorite color. Have them point to things on the mat that are the same color.

2. Use the "high-five" method of "too slow" and then "ouch!" when they get you.

3. Let them pick out a piece of equipment to play with first such as a dodge ball or blocker sword. Children this young are very sensory stimulated so hitting, kicking, blocking, jumping are all great ways to get them to open up.

4. Balloons and bubble wrap are also fun tools to begin with.

Bottom line:

Not every 3 or 4 year old is ready for Martial Arts. That's why many Martial Arts schools don't offer a program for this age group. You will always find our 3 and 4 year old program packed, despite the fact that we turn about a dozen of them away per year. That's why our classes are packed - because we know our limits and we know what to look for in a student.

In many occasions, the parents do bring their shy kid back after 6 months and they do just fine!

Hope this helps!

Best,
Melody

Permalink Reply by Santanu on January 27, 2010 at 12:07pm

Thank you Melody, fantastic analysis and strategies! I will most certainly try these out. You're the best!